Florida takes quick action to defend children by arming them all.

Gainsville, Florida – In light of the arrests yesterday of two preteen girls armed with a pizza cutter and knives. Who had the plans to attack other children in the name of Satan.


Ok, I’ve seen some crazy stories but wow….just, wow.


Here at Florida Man we are expecting a swift response from officials largely due to the upcoming elections. On the bill the NRA might have it’s greatest dream come true and have all children issued an AR-15 upon them stepping foot on school property. You may ask yourself how will the students be protected from each other?


All teachers will be issued live grenades. Checkmate snowflakes!

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